The Breakup… Again?

Since I’m reminiscing about the previously mentioned boyfriend, I thought I would share the story of our breakup.

I met Mr. Clingy right after I had quit my job in order to head back to school for a masters.  I had a free summer, and so I lived with him for the summer and he helped me move into my less luxurious quarters at school.  Coincidentally he had also just decided to get his masters in Europe at the same time, and that is why we decided to pursue the relationship.  We would both be busy for a year, and then presumably in the same city afterwards. 

Boy do you get to know someone when you do long-distance; too many phone conversations without any physical distractions.  This wasn’t my first go at a long-distance relationship, but it was certainly the worst.  Our phone sessions were like therapy sessions for him — had I charged him by the hour I would be in a much better financial situation than I currently am.  He would yap and yap and yap about his life and every detail of his day.  I could not get two words in!  I kid you not, one time my sister had a whole conversation with me, then asked me why I was being so quiet.  I told her “I’m on the phone”.  She couldn’t believe it.  I had been on the phone for an hour and never had to say a word.  He just needed someone to listen to his troubles I guess, and once in a while tell him ‘yes you should do that’.  He could have talked into a mirror and been just as satisfied, but he would want to be on the phone constantly at all hours instead!  Clingy, needy, and selfish.  I figure I never realized during the brief summer we were physically together because he could distract me with the occasional kiss when I got frustrated by his inability to listen to me.  It was also new and exciting at that point in time, and since my whole life was changing I never really stepped back to think about how he fit into it.

Once we were in seperate cities I would go out every night on the weekends, and he never even knew I had gone out… much less ask where or with who!  That’s the extent of his self-absorption.  So I decided this is no good, I’m breaking up now.  So I did.  I had an hour long conversation with him and explained to him that I saw no future and didn’t want to keep seeing him.  I thought it was over.  Apperently I thought wrong.

During our January breaks we ended up in the same city and saw each other one evening.  He had continued to contact me occasionally, and though I wouldn’t answer his calls I would occasionally respond to his IM’s on the computer.  At the end of the night he gets all serious and the conversation goes like this:

Mr. Clingy:  ‘We have to talk’

Me: ‘Ok’

Mr. Clingy: ‘I don’t think this is working, we need to breakup’

Me: [didn’t this already happen?!?!] ‘Ok’

Mr. Clingy: ‘I really care about you, but this is too hard on me… blah blah blah [I would tell you what the blah’s were, but I was so in shock I really don’t think I was listening].  Why haven’t you said anything?  Why are you so quiet?’

Me:  ‘Because I already did this 2 months ago!!!!!’

Anyway, I don’t know if he got it after that but I wasn’t going to stick around to tell him.  If letting him think he broke up with me helps give him closure without hurting his ego, so be it.  I do not need to be anyone’s psychiatrist — I need the energy (and therapy) for myself.

“Don’t let people drive you crazy when you know it’s in driving distance.” ~ Unkown